


Miracles in July

by GoddessOfDestruction



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Appa!Suho, Bàba!Kris, M/M, Mother Hen Suho, Oblivious Dad Kris, Suho has a parenting blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 21:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessOfDestruction/pseuds/GoddessOfDestruction
Summary: Have you ever tried to take a Christmas card photo of your kids in the mid-Summer? No? Then let me tell you, don't try it. Seriously, just don't. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "you're just saying that because you have 10 devils disguised as children, Junmyeon". True, but don't try it at home nonetheless. Take it from me, I speak from experience.





	Miracles in July

**Author's Note:**

> Even though they get mentioned here and there, these are their ages:  
> Minseok (Xiumin), Han – 12 // Yixing (Lay) – 11 // Baekhyun, Jongdae (Chen), Chanyeol – 10 // Kyungsoo (D.O.), Zitao – 9 // Jongin (Kai), Sehun – 8
> 
> (Basically I made Xiumin 12-years-old and then followed their real age differences)

Have you ever tried to take a Christmas card photo of your kids in the mid-Summer? No? Then let me tell you, don't try it. Seriously, just don't. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "you're just saying that because you have 10 devils disguised as children, Junmyeon". True, but don't try it at home nonetheless. Take it from me, I speak from experience.

The Christmas card concept is being downgraded each year, much to my distaste. To make it worse, Kris is starting to take the kids' side, saying that maybe we should give up on the Christmas card photo because they are getting too old. Are you kidding me, Kris? Too old? Minseok can't tie his shoes and Sehun still sucks on his thumb, and they are the oldest and the youngest, respectively. Just in case it isn't clear: our twelve-year-old can't tie his shoes and our eight-year-old still sucks on his thumb. You let me know how's that "too old", Kris.

Ok, rambling apart, I'm currently typing this on my phone in the living room as seven of my children cause mayhem around the house. Why only seven children and where's Kris, you wonder? Well, Kris is out with the Chinese kids to buy any Christmas ornaments they can find in stores in mid-July. (Before you say anything, let me tell you, the only good thing that we have in the basement is the tree. All the Christmas ornaments are either mismatched or broken.) In the meantime, I’ll guide you through the current status of the mayhem. I’ll rank the kids’ behavior from “I’m disinheriting you” (the beagle line aka Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol) to “I’m not giving you gifts for your birthday” (the eternal five-year-old’s aka Minseok, Jongin and Sehun). Kyungsoo is toeing the edge of “I’m seriously considering taking you to an appointment with a psychiatrist”.

So, number one kid that is getting on my nerves is Jongdae. He’s doing everything he can to drive me insane. Alright, I’m sorry, Dae! Why am I apologizing when he’s the one upsetting me? Well, long story short, Jongdae is sulking because I’ve mistaken him again. I may have implied that he's Chinese when I asked if he wanted to go with Bàba too and join the Chinese brotherhood... I'm sorry, Dae, but you look like you're Chinese!

Second kid that is driving me to insanity is Baekhyun and all because he’s just being himself, which is a chatterbox. He’s the human embodiment of a dog. I swear if he had a tail, he’d be wagging it, knocking things over with it, and spinning in circles, chasing it endlessly. He has stripped off his sweater, complaining it's too hot and I don't argue against; thick winter sweater, 85 F outside… but still, Baekhyun can physical tire people. 

Speaking of tiring kids, Chanyeol is also draining all my energy. Like Baekhyun, he’s a sweet kid, but he’s a loud, hyperactive kid. He has grabbed an empty toilet paper roll and is running around, trying to find a partner to join him on the search for the "el dorado" (I blame Kris for this). Seeing him sad because no one wants to play with him is heartbreaking, but then he goes to get his pet ferret (I swear to God, Kris!) and I’m restless again.

Now I’m considering moving Sehun to the top of this list because the little sh – because he’s cute and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. I’m partially deaf from hearing him whine in my ear – “I’m bored”, “It’s too hot”. Should have made him go with Kris… Not that Kris has any card up his sleeve, but Han does. Sehun and Han are pretty much attached at the hip, so Sehun is always on his best behavior when they’re together.

Jongin… where to start with this boy. He only has two moods: he’s either really hyper happy or tired and not in the mood for life. Today he’s really happy, acting like a five-year-old kid. He’s running around practically naked; I swear he's five minutes away from stripping off his briefs too. I sit back and let him run around because eventually he’ll get tired and sit next Kyungsoo – correction, use Kyungsoo’s lap as a pillow and take a nap.

God bless Minseok. Yes, I know that just like Jongin, he too has two moods (5-year-old kid or 40-year-old man, there’s no in between), but right now he’s on his best behavior. He’s trying to keep everyone under control. He’s trying to pair Chanyeol and Baekhyun to play together, he’s cheering up a still sulking Jongdae and playing with Sehun, has managed to make Jongin calm down, and is coaxing Kyungsoo to leave the couch.

Right, my least – and, at the same time, most – problematic son, Kyungsoo. He’s still sitting on the couch next to me, and he looks like he's about to murder someone any given time now, which is concerning because he's nine and looks like he's always possessed by Satan. He hasn’t gotten anyone in a chokehold yet; small victory of the day. It actually saddens me a little to know that Kyungsoo only acts so mean because he’s too shy.

So Kris returns with three bags full of Christmas lights, all sorts of baubles and props such as long, white beards and reindeer antlers. I have to admit he surpassed my expectations. I don't know if he'll bring this up later, asking me to reward his efforts, but for now he's not saying anything that implies such. We decorate the handrail and balusters of the staircase with tinsel and lights while the kids are going through the bags, claiming property of props and ornaments. I tell the kids to sit on the stairs in the usual 3x2x3x2 order (Han says it sounds like soccer tactics but in reality it's just the number of children per step). I hear Kris bribing the kids to assume their positions while I get the camera. When I'm about to snap a photo, I notice something's off. I order everyone, with a shout that clearly leaves them traumatized for a week, to be quiet and still for a minute. I count the kids. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… one is missing. I count them again. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… what the...? As I scurry through their faces, trying to figure out who's missing, Kris says "Shit, I forgot Yixing at the store!". He's out the door before I process that information.

So Kris returns (again!), this time bringing Yixing, and God bless this kid's soul because he's not angry. (He was so happy reading a manga that he didn't even realize he had been forgotten in the store!) So, now that we're all here, I ask them to sit at the stairs. Kris stands behind me and pulls out the old trick from when they were younger. He yells "BOOP!" and they all giggle. I capture the photo at that exact moment. Funny thing is, the photo I snap perfectly displays each of the boys' personalities. Minseok is looking like a little gentleman, wearing the white beard, and combining that with his round glasses and chubby cheeks, makes him really look like Santa. Baekhyun has hung two balls on his ears and is grinning, his smile shaped like a rectangle. Jongdae stuck a candy cane up his nose, his eyes are rolled back, tongue sticking out of his mouth. Chanyeol put on an elf's hat and is tugging on his ears, smile so big that it seems like it'll rip his face in two. Han put on the reindeer antlers hat, and has his arms wrapped Sehun who sits on the V of his legs on the step below his. Sehun proudly shows a V sign, wearing a fluffy earflap beanie. Jongin sits next to him, stripped down to only his undies, having tied the sleeves of the thick sweater around his head. Zitao is being his fabulous usual self, having wrapped several tinsels around him, striking a pose. Yixing is doing a heart, arms raised over his head, hands touching the top of his head. Last, but not least, Kyungsoo is smiling as the pomp-pomp of the Santa's hat bops his nose.

This is our Christmas card. It takes me, like, twenty minutes on the computer to write ‘Merry Christmas’ on the photo, but I purposely spend two hours in the office room, leaving Kris to take care of the kids. I’m mentally exhausted. And apparently I fell asleep. I say ‘apparently’ because I wake up with Kris shaking me, telling me it’s time for dinner. By ‘time for dinner’ I assume that it’s time for me to cook something, but much to my surprise, there’s food on the table. The kids look fresh out of the bath, all of them already in their pajamas, eating in relative silence. I look at Kris who smirks at me, and even though knowing that he just flashed me a cocky grin, I say nothing and take a seat.

(Later tonight, as I expected, he tells me “I went to three stores today. I made dinner, bathed ten kids and got them all to bed. I think I deserve a reward…?”. I have to admit, it was impossible to deny him such thing after what he did today.)


End file.
